I got a very thoughtful message on OK Cupid from a man who told me that he had also been a nanny once. He wasn’t really my type, but seemed very nice (and willing to come to my neighborhood), so I agreed to meet him for a drink.

He turned out to be really sweet and likable and we had a lot in common. He worked in an elementary school in a bad neighborhood and wanted to be a principal. I want to teach high school in low-income communities. We talked a lot about education and Michelle Rhee and it was totally fun. He walked me home, gave me a quick kiss on the lips, and we parted ways.

We texted a fair amount over the next few days. It turned out that we both loved soup and going to bed early. We agreed that we might be soulmates.

For our next date, we agreed to cook dinner together at his apartment. We had an awesome time and hung out for six hours, way past either of our bedtimes. Over the next few days, he sent me lots of texts telling me what a great time he had had, how much he liked me, and that he couldn’t wait to see me again.

It was a little intense a little quickly, but I’ve been alone for a long time and really liked the attention and ego boost. Plus I did genuinely like the guy. So I tried to follow his lead and also be effusive.

Our second date was on Saturday, and through Monday night he texted me non stop telling me how excited he was to have met me. My car broke down, and he offered to give me a ride home after work if I needed it. We had set a date for Friday, but agreed to meet up for dinner on Tuesday, too.

On Tuesday, he was really weird. I’m pretty intuitive about these things, and something clearly was different. We had a fine dinner and he gave me a kiss when he dropped me off at home, but it definitely felt weird. I texted him the next day to ask what was up.

He told me that I had come on too strong and he just couldn’t deal with a relationship at the moment. What? I had been following his lead! He had been way, way intense and affectionate, and I actually felt like it had been too much. So, after a week of acting way relationship-y, he came out with a “sorry, can’t do something serious.”

Ugh. Men.

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