Because I’m committed to my readers, I recently emailed the convict to see what he was up to. Also, because I once had some strong feelings for him, and I was curious.

Turns out he (finally) found a job. He is working at a furniture company in Philly. He doesn’t make much money, but they do know he is a convicted felon/sex offender and still keep him around.

I finally got up the guts to ask him what he actually did to get arrested. He swore up and down that he really just broke into a woman’s house and touched her breasts, and then ran. He said he didn’t rape her. I believe him. But he also told me he did the same thing to other women two other times before. And that he had been stalking these women (spying on them, in his terms) for weeks before he did anything.

He also told me that he was molested by a stranger in public as a child. Which explains a lot of his desire for strange women and taking advantage of them.

He is still in therapy once a week and working really, really hard on himself. But he is pretty miserable. He basically has realized that he has completely ruined his life forever. He is pretty sure he will never find a woman willing to deal with his past (and I agree). I want to feel bad for him. I do feel bad for him. He is really not a bad man – at least, he didn’t seem to be so when I knew him and was dating him. And that’s what makes things complicated. I actually think he’s a good guy with some serious mental health issues. But I also realize that he pretty much ruined a bunch of women’s lives, and he did get what he deserved. For me, and I think for many others, that’s unforgivable. No matter how good a guy he may be or try to be now.

Honestly, if I prayed, I would pray for him. I do feel for him. I feel like one mistake (even if it’s a huge, horrible fucking mistake – I am in no way downplaying sexual assault here) should not have to haunt a person for their entire life. There should be some way to make it up. I don’t know how. And I don’t know what could make what he did better. But I genuinely feel like this guy doesn’t deserve to be miserable forever, after he did his time and is working so hard on bettering himself.

It just won’t be me who makes him happy.