This lovely gentleman messaged me on OKCupid. He only had one picture, so I was immediately skeptical (it’s pretty easy to find ONE good picture of anyone, it just probably looks nothing like him) – but I let it go. He worked in a wine store, which seemed like a really good perk to have. I want a wealthy benefactor to buy me furs and a brownstone, but I could settle for some good bubbly.

We tried to set up a date several times, to no avail, but finally we made it work. He got off work at 9 and wanted to meet me at 10 – which is basically my bedtime. My usual rule is that I don’t go out with people who want to meet up so late, because we’re probably fundamentally incompatible. But I did it. I warned him that I probably wouldn’t last very long, which was both true and a nice escape strategy.

I drank several cups of coffee and managed to stay up. He was late. It was 10:20 by the time he showed up. He bought me a drink. He was super skinny and short, with really bad acne. I know the acne isn’t his fault. I know it sucks to have bad skin. But that doesn’t mean I have to be attracted to it.

He was actually decently interesting, if really socially awkward. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I do know it was kind of stimulating. I just wasn’t interested. After about 45 minutes, I excused myself. I was, actually, really tired, and definitely wasn’t going to waste my sleep on a lame date. And it all probably could have been avoided with some honest photographs.