I met this gentleman on OKCupid. I recently re-activated my account, by the way, because I figured – hey, what is there to lose? The worst that can happen is I go on dates with lots of losers. And losers are good blog material.

He and I exchanged a few messages, but it wasn’t until we met up that it got interesting. It was super, super fun. I showed him my favorite poem and he liked it. He totally got my sense of humor. He was funny. He was extremely sweet. Not someone I’d pick out for myself, but I figured I’d give it a chance, since he seemed like a really decent guy. And that’s kind of all I really want right now. Someone decent.

We got really drunk and he slept over. Nothing happened, just cuddles. It was nice. He had a good beard and good chest hair. Overall, super fun date. I went to DC that weekend, and, when I came back, he said he would love to come over and cuddle again. So he did. It was really nice. Again.

His sister was in town for the next week, so we planned another date for the following Tuesday. In the week-plus between dates, we texted a lot for the first few days, and then it tapered off. I was a little concerned about all the time elapsed – I feel like momentum is important and gets lost easily in the beginning do-I-like-you phase. So, the combination of loss of momentum and the less-frequent texting left me skeptical that this date would actually happen, but I tried not to be too negative.

I got a text from him the morning of our set date, saying, “Hey, sorry if this is a jerky thing to do, but can we reschedule? I forgot that I had tickets to this concert tonight.”

I am not dumb. I have been on enough dates with fucking children to know what that means. But I always want to force them to say directly what they mean, so I pushed the issue (Because my dog knows how to tell me what he wants, and he can’t even speak English. So should a grown man be able to say what he wants/means/needs/expects, goddamn it!).

“Is that an indirect way of saying you’re not interested?” I texted back, “Or do you really want to reschedule? My feelings won’t be hurt either way.”

And, just to cement his newfound place in my heart as a fucking child, he didn’t respond.