A few weeks ago, I was at my favorite restaurant in Chinatown, Big Wong (it’s on Mulberry, just south of Canal). They seat all the people eating by themselves at the same table, and I was seated next to a good-looking man.

A couple across the table was eating congee, and I was trying to remember what it was. Some sort of porridge, I knew, but was it rice? Was it sweet or savory? Lo and behold, the waiter who brought my roast pork mai fun soup brought the good-looking man a bowl of congee.

Not even flirting, I asked him what congee was, and he offered me a spoonful. I accepted. We sparked up a lovely conversation; he was on Grand Jury duty, a ten-day marathon of sitting and indicting. We chatted for half an hour, totally organically and pleasantly. I gave him my card after I told him about my Modern Love column (duh) and told him to look out for my name. He said he’d email me.

Oh, also – this.

“When I first moved away from home,” he said, “I said to my dad, ‘It’s hard adapting, because I was rich my whole life.’ And my dad said, ‘You weren’t rich, I was rich.'”

“You must be Jewish,” I said immediately.

He was blown away by the fact that I guessed correctly, because he was adopted, and genetically Cherokee Indian. But, come on. Duh. That’s what Jewish dads say. Universally.

Yes. I met a nice Jewish boy in a Chinese restaurant.

Anyway, half an hour after I left, he sent me an email, saying he had a great time dining with me and hoped to do it again. The subject was “Congee Connection.”

So. Fucking. Cute.

We went out to lunch the next week, and again had a great time. But then he got off jury duty, and had to go back to work. And, as seems to be a pattern, he was “too busy” to hang out.

Now, I don’t think he was an asshole. I think he was probably really busy, and he probably didn’t feel like he had time to hang out with me.

But I don’t believe in “too busy.” Everyone has one minute before bed to shoot over an email saying, “Hey, things are insane, but hope to see you soon.” Make an effort. Make a girl feel special. If you wanted to make time for me, you’d make it. If not, just tell me you’re not interested. I’m a big girl. I can take it.

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