After nine mostly fantastic months, I’ve amicably and mutually broken up with the boyfriend. It’s sad. He and I were incredible together in many ways – we got each others’ sense of humor, we judged people harshly, we laughed a lot. We always had a great time together. But there were some basic relationship and personality incompatibilities that meant that, wisely and maturely, we had to end things. After a healing period, we look forward to being in each others’ lives and dancing at each others’ weddings.

I can hear you now.

“What does this have to do with me?” you ask. “Your feelings are, frankly, not that interesting, and I have needs that are not being met. I’ve been here since the beginning; your virtual sidekick as you’ve navigated the muddy streams and snapping twigs of the deep, dark dating forest. Your news is nice, but what do I get out of it?”

Dear reader, I am ashamed for you. Ashamed that you can’t see this boon for what it is.

I, your intrepid red-haired adventurer, am back on the dating scene.

And I shouldn’t even have to tell you what that means. But I will, just in case you’re dumb.

It means Men That Are Rectangles is back up and running! I need a few weeks to let all the feelings calm down, but I have three dates already planned and on hold until that time comes.

Rest assured, dear readers – all of the juicy juicy meat left on the discarded bones of male society will be passed from my little mama bird beak straight into your waiting gullets. You’re welcome, and god bless.